Jubilee Jubilation

Oh she’s a super lady!

Absolutely super!

A real trouper!

Rain or shine-there she is!

A symbol of stability!

Oh, she’s super!

A symbol of . . . Everything, really.

It’s continuity, really. Isn’t it? In a changing world . . . Makes you proud to be British!

Oh, yes.

Because there she is. You know — rain or shine. And there we are — proud as anything. About being British.

No matter the weather! She’ll be there. In her . . . little hat. And shoes, and things.

And matching coat!

Oh yes! Always a matching coat! Matching and pastel!

That’s right! Always the same! Oh, you’ve got to love her for it!

She’s a super lady! Such a trouper.

And she must be what? Ever so old. By now. She must be in her mid-eighties!

In the pouring rain!

Regal as anything. No matter what. Just the little wave. Never too much waving. Never too little.

Was she waving? D’you know I don’t think she was waving. Not on the boat.

No? Oh, I’m sure she was!

I can’t visualise it though. She just sort of stood there, didn’t she? Looking a bit fed up. Poor thing.

Well — it was cold. Wasn’t it? She was probably frozen solid!

But they had that heater-type thingummy. By her feet. To keep the chill off —

Oh. Good. I hated to think of her shivering.

She’s one courageous lady! Rain or shine!

Rain, more like!

There she’ll be . . . Sometimes waving. Sometimes just standing . . .

One remarkable lady!

It’s these so-called “republicans” I want to throttle!

Cowards. It’s what they are. Really.

Cowards. And killjoys!

And then — when the Queen came out on that balcony —

Oh! Super!

And there was Prince Charles on the one side. And Prince William on the other — and an absolutely gorgeous-looking Kate.

Gorgeous! And so natural!

You just felt . . . Full of hope! Full of proud-to-be-British-ness. Didn’t you? Her Majesty really had “done the job” she set out to do. All those years ago. There were her subjects —

Cheering like  crazy!

And it was as if she was looking down on us — saying — you know, do your worst, you bastards! This family ain’t going nowhere!


She’s looked after her own.

And we love her for it!

And she loves us for loving her for it!


She was really, really smiling, wasn’t she? On the balcony. I just felt so overwhelmed by her love for us. Did you?

Did I what?

Feel overwhelmed by Her Majesty’s love?


Well because — she was actually smiling. For once. On the balcony. A sort of cat-that-got-the-cream sort of a grin. And up until that point she’d been looking quite glum.

Yes. Well. You can’t blame her.

No! I didn’t say you could . . . It’s just that . . . I mean — it was raining for everyone. Wasn’t it? And everyone else was smiling. All the people who’d come out to cheer for her . . . they were smiling.

Yes. But —

I’m just saying — on the balcony, I felt The Love. When she finally deigned to smile at us. Did you? Because sometimes I just wonder — you know . . . I’m not being funny. But I mean, we stand in the rain and cheer. And pay for it all . . . And she — gets the palaces. And the cash. And the adulation. But she doesn’t do anything really, does she? Except wear the same clothes all the time. And look bloody glum.

Silly billy! She’s the Queen!

Yes, I know.

Well then. Don’t be so silly . . .

I’m not saying she’s not one helluva super lady. Because of course she is. And so gutsy.

SO gutsy! Oh she’s super! She must be — what, in her mid-eighties? And still here! Waving and standing.

With the shoes and the coats!

Absolutely super!

What a super lady!

God Save the Queen!

Underrated: Abroad

The ravenous longing for the infinite possibilities of “otherwhere”

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