Über Mensch?

You’ve got to hand it to her. It’s a male-dominated domain and yet she held her own. Parliamentary committees, everything!

Not to mention Newsnight, Lucy. She can even give Mr Paxman a run for his money! 

I have nothing but admiration. I think she’s terrific. She’s a role model for all our girls.

Absolutely! All that juggling! We don’t have nearly enough girls in Parliament.

Let alone mums.

She’s a brave lady. Not one to be pushed about. An absolute star.

Headed for high office, too, according to Cameron. He thought the world of her. 

But it was not to be!

And it’s a crying shame. We need MORE mums in Parliament, not fewer. If we had more mums, everything would be different, I guarantee.

We’d be living in a softer, kinder world.

No more . . . wars . . . And fatty deep-fried school lunches . . .

Nutritious school lunches wouldn’t be left in the hands of lovely-jubbly celebrity chefs, they’d actually be compulsory! Part of the     national curriculum. 

Even Mrs Thatcher did something about making the kids drink milk, didn’t she?

Did she? I thought she took the milk away from them? 

No, Lucy. She’s a mum, isn’t she? Of course she wants the kids to drink milk.

I should think he fancies her. 

Who?

Paxman. I should think he fancies Louise Mensch.

Well, yes. Its very much part of her glamourpuss shtick, isn’t it? Mum, MP, best-selling author, rock star husband . . . She’s a beautiful woman.

. . . With a little help from Dr Scalpel and Surgeon Botox, I shouldn’t wonder!

She denies it, of course.

Of course she does. 

. . . It must have been a painful decision for her.

Oh I bet it was.

Giving up such a promising career . . .

For an ambitious woman. Which she obviously is.

Oh she’s very ambitious. You can see that right away. 

All the interviews on telly, all the rushing around, rushing to see the rock star husband in New York . . .  And then back to Westminster, hobnobbing with the Murdochs. 

Fêted wherever she goes . . .

The Great White Hope of the Tory party . . .

That’s right-flag-bearer for feminists and working mothers . . .

All the men falling at her feet . . .

Must have been intoxicating. But that’s the thing with these Alpha women — it’s almost as if nothing will ever be enough for them. 

And that’s all very well. But when there are kids involved . . .

Well, this is what I was thinking! Only I didn’t like to say! Because, really — role models aside for a moment — for goodness sake, feminism, shmeminism! Louise, what about your kids? 

It’s husband number two, of course.

Of course it is. I know someone whose kids actually go to the same school — wherever it is — out in the sticks . . . And you know she literally — this is no exaggeration — La Mensch is out there in her sexy Lycra, going for a jog , iPod and everything, while the nanny’s on the school run. You’ve got Nanny picking up the kids, and Mum’s out for a jog! Seriously! What’s THAT about? 

Beggars belief. 

Well she’s got to keep herself in shape for all those telly appearances, hasn’t she?

Not any more. Not now she’s “resigned” from Parliament.

Resigned — or pushed. They hated her in the constituency apparently. HATED.

I bet . . . What she’s learning is something the rest of us,  not perhaps “blessed” with such a beautiful face . . .

And all that money . . .

Not to mention the ambition-what she’s finally having to learn . . .

. . . is that no, not even ever so pretty, ever so clever, ever so dontcha-just-wanna-throttle her Ms Louise Mensch can always have it her way. Feminist she may be, but she just can’t have it all.

She surely can’t.

Ha ha. 

Ha.

And by the way I give that so-called “rock star marriage” of hers eighteen months at the most.

What a car crash!

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