Party Lines

Daisy Waugh overhears the verdict on the latest political memoirs

Do you think you’ll read it?

God, no. Prefer to watch paint dry, Laura.

But you’ve got to buy it though, haven’t you?

Oh, yes.

It’s a “Publishing Event”.

That’s right.

Whether you like the man or not.

And, no. I DO NOT like the man. Not one bit.

Nice-looking though. Nowadays…

It’s because he spends all his time in America. In beauty spas. Money and beauty spas. 

And nice photo-ops.

Never mind the “Journey”, it’s a one-way trip to the bank. He’s money-obsessed. Money and Jesus…money, Jesus and beauty spas.

 And celebrities.

Did you realise he was a Jesus freak?

To be fair…


He says he’s donating the money to the
Legionnaires. All the wounded ones. Which is…well, it’s nice. Isn’t it?

What’s nice about that? 

Well, I thought…

Of course he’s going to donate the money. Why wouldn’t he? Anyway, look at the fuss he’s made about it. It’s because he feels guilty.

Even so…

Which is funny (no-not-really). Seeing as we all know he hasn’t got a conscience. Because he’s a freak. 

He probably longs for the days when we all thought he was a good chap.

He disgusts me. Literally. And now he expects us to cough up £30 or whatever, and actually plough through another of these dreary, cynical so-called “political memoirs”…


He’s turned us into a cynical nation, Laura. That’s his legacy. We’ve lost our trust.


It is.

Oh. Talking of politicians and their bons mots. Ex-politicians. Sarah Brown.

Oh yes? Heart her.

One of her kids got on to Mummy’s computer the other day…Did you hear about it? …and accidentally dispatched a tweet to her 750,000-plus followers.


YES. Total Gobbledegook…

Too sweet…

Too tweet!

Ha, ha!

I never thought I’d say it about anyone connected to the last government. Can’t get enough of her and her tweets. I heart her.

Oh, me too. We all do. 

Sarah had to apologise. The moment she realised, she wrote: “In future, I won’t be letting junior tweeters get near the computer.” Ha, ha, ha. It’s just so human, isn’t it?

Just the sort of thing one of us might do.

…lakdlkallkjkljdlkjlkjglksjg fsg’ lfs;lgk;lsfg;lsk kdjalkeo lda;ld a’uefdfadfnlingaoi… That’s all it said.

Too hilarious.

Isn’t it? 

And here’s me saying political memoirs are dead. But I tell you…

Me, too. Absolutely can’t WAIT to read hers

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