Party Lines

Daisy Waugh eavesdrops on the chattering classes

Poor Lulu’s feeling a bit fragile at the moment.

I bet she is. Poor old thing. Are they splitting up?

Not yet. But I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a lot of marriages hitting the rocks in the next few months. Don’t you think? All those Alpha husbands suddenly moping around at home…

With empty wallets.

With empty wallets. Right… I said I’d buy her lunch.

Oh, that’s nice. Where are you taking her?

I thought the Wolseley…

Gosh! Very flash.

Can’t afford it, of course, but you know…

At least we didn’t marry investment bankers!

Thank God for small mercies…

So. What’s the situation exactly? With Lulu. Do we know?

The situation is – he’s lost everything. That’s what. Had it all tied up in some supersonic fund – I’m not really sure… Then last week, suddenly, whole thing went belly up. Phut! No job. No savings. Massive mortgage on the house. Three children at private school… They’re buggered, basically.

Poor Lulu. Just when she finished making the house so stunning….

On the market.

It’s too awful! I mean – she’s dedicated herself to the whole lifestyle thing. Hasn’t she? Making everything perfect for him. Perfect house, perfect children.

Oh, she’s a fantastic mother.

Always on top of everything. Always looking fabulous. Not like the rest of us, desperately trying to juggle it all. Remember all those Halloween parties she did for the kids? No expense spared!

And the costumes she made for them.

And those amazing birthday cakes.

And God – the birthday parties!

And then she bagged that amazing tutor to get the twins into prep school… Because they really aren’t very bright, those boys. But she had the time and determination and the money – she just threw herself into the task – supermum that she is.

I don’t suppose they’ll be going to prep school now…

After all that effort.

God. It’s terrible.

Terrible.

Poor Lulu

So awful for her…

She says Lionel’s skulking around the house like there’s been a death in the family… It’s only bloody money, after all. That’s what Lulu’s telling him. She’s being very brave. That’s what I said to her. I said, gosh, Lulu – you’re amazing. I’d be falling to pieces.

That’s nice.

Well – poor girl. I was desperate to make her feel better.

A nice lunch at the Wolseley should perk her up. In fact – maybe I can come along? Shall I?

Oh, do! What fun!

Maybe you and I can split the bill!

How lovely!

What FUN!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

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