Party Lines

Daisy Waugh eavesdrops on the chattering classes

I was thinking of giving up wheat products for Lent.

Hm?

But then I thought – maybe I should make life a bit simpler for myself.

Sounds very sensible.

So I’ve given up mango smoothies instead.

For Lent?

And the boys have given up the Wii. They’re livid about it, but I didn’t really give them much choice.

But-why?

What do you mean, why? Because – as you may recall – Jesus died to save us all…

Are you being funny?

No, I’m bloody well not being funny!

What’s that got to do with the Wii?

Spirituality, Emily – if the word means anything to you. I know it’s not very fashionable to be banging on about religion. Or not our religion, anyway. But I just think it’s about time my kids were introduced to, you know, spirituality. Lent. And all that.

Crikey.

Especially with the economy like it is – because here we are, we’re emerging from this amazingly materialistic society; and we’re looking around, and we’re asking ourselves, what’s it all about?

Are we? You sure? I’m not.

And we’re discovering that what it’s all about, after all the shopping is unpacked, is Love. And thinking of others. And – being grateful for the little things in life…

Oh. Well. Jolly good.

I’ve decided we could all benefit from spending a bit more time in contemplation. Thinking about God, and how lucky we are…

So you’ve given up the smoothies?

You can laugh as much as you like, chum. But – as I’m fairly sure it says in the Bible, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single –

Oh my gosh. You’ve joined one of those trendy churches, haven’t you? You’re ridiculous! Ha, ha, ha!

I certainly have not! No. I just happen to think Christianity –

You promise you’re not pulling my leg?

You see? That’s how bad it’s got! I only mention the word Christianity, and my bestfriend thinks I’m pulling her leg!

Hey, hey, hey – chillax, man. As the kids say…

No! I will certainly not “chillax”.

Well, keep your hair on! I’m sorry to be sceptical but as it’s the first time you’ve ever…

All the crap we have to learn about Id and Honiker. Haniker. Whatever. And Ramadan and Chinese New Year…The kids come back from school; they know about every religion under the sun, but what do they know about Christianity? Nothing! They think it’s a joke!

Well, it is a bit. Isn’t it?

How the hell do I know? The whole thing makes my blood curdle. So. No smoothies. No Wii. And lots of…Easter eggs. And I swear if my kids bring back another bloody poster about Hindu wedding rites, I’ll kill someone. Whose country is this, anyway?

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