With Prejudice

‘My own red carpet days have long since mutated into brown lino nights, but looking back at the times I borrowed a designer frock for a nomination, I usually spent the evening feeling faintly immoral’

“Martin? Me again, I got cut off. No, still on the train. Just past Milton Keynes.”

Right, volunteers and activists, gents, ladies and genderfluids, settle down and listen up!

‘I’ve decided against taking the Medea job. It was a really hard decision but in the end I felt the part should go to an actress— sorry an actor, of either sex obviously — who really had eaten her children’

‘It’s just with regard to, like, discussion about anti-Semitism . . . well, I just keep thinking one thing. Why is it always them?’

“If this man makes America great again, I will eat a sombrero”

“Putin revels in others’ weakness. A man with a facelift who poses bare-chested on horseback is not a well man”

“Must the garage have a Nespresso bar? Must the library and the swimming pool do shawarma and chips?”

“It’s my Labour Party, Mr Corbyn, and I’ll cry if I want to”