‘My own red carpet days have long since mutated into brown lino nights, but looking back at the times I borrowed a designer frock for a nomination, I usually spent the evening feeling faintly immoral’
'I’ve decided against taking the Medea job. It was a really hard decision but in the end I felt the part should go to an actress— sorry an actor, of either sex obviously — who really had eaten her children'
"The unthinkable is happening. The thrice-married, terrorist-sympathising, absolver of anti-Semites, 500-time voter against his own party, refusenik of anthem and servicemen tributes, utterly unproven Jeremy Corbyn will become our next Prime Minister"